Ma-Na

Image Stolen From Chudahs Corner.

What I see: This looks less like an album cover and more like something on which to write your grocery list on. Ah, I see someone needs to buy some Ma-Na, whatever that is. Or maybe someone needs to remember to buy some files for their cabinet, specifically section Ma-Na. Whatever it is, it seems like menial household chores and not music.

What I Expect to Hear: Something light, breezy, and empty. The musical equivalent to the lady on newscasts who introduces wacky clips of dogs.

Would I buy? No, but now that you mention it, I probably do need to pick up some eggs at the store, maybe I should write it down under my Ma-Na.

L.E.D. Denjin K

Stolen from Chudah's Corner.

What I see: Cool. That's all I see. Just some cooool stuff there. The stars, the weird looking rocks, the font, the cool blues. It's just cool this cover, and I don't even know what it's supposed to be.

What I expect to hear: For some reason, it looks like some sort of dark avant-garde techno act, which is kinda cool. There would be some thundering bass and some ominous noise and it'd all be very badass and wonderful.

Would I but it? Yep. It's taking everything I've got to not just buy it right now.

Kaenseibo ~The Virgin of Meggido~

Image stolen from Chudah's Corner. I'm tired of being clever about it.

What I see: Behold my magical armpits! With these I can summon the ghosts of crumpets past! With them, I shall destroy the world!

What I expect to hear: Well, from the title and the skirt fluttering like it belongs to Merilyn Monroe, I have a sneaking suspicion this is some sort of porno game. And thus, it probably sounds like porno music.

Would I buy? Ahhh, no.

J.D.K. Band 1

Image stolen from Chudah's Corner.

What I see: This looks sort of like a belt buckle, no? One of those big ones, that are oval and generally advise against messing with Texas. And those kinds of belt buckles are generally only worn by people who spend their lives around cattle and/or tractors. That kinda gives this a bit of a country music vibe, no? So what does J.D.K. stand for? John Deere Killahs? Jack Daniels Kicker? Jim Dog's Kenworth? I'm betting one of those is close to the money.

What I expect to hear: Something about tractors, alcoholism, and god, like all other country music.

Would I buy this? Well, if I was right, no. I would rather drill a hole through my ear than listen to most country music (and since I live in a rural area, this option is continually more and more appealing), but I've actually heard this one, and Cursed Desert is a freaking amazing track and everyone should get this album pronto.

I.Q. Remix Plus

.renroC s'haduhC morf nelotS

What I see: Techno music does this all the time. Odd minimalist white background, obviously digital image, odd track names and a package that looks like it could also be used to sell office products. It just says "hello, we are from France and like to use computers to make bleeps and bloops. Let us make a soundtrack to a Kirstin Dunst movie together."

What I expect to hear: Well, obviously, frenchmen making bleeps and bloops on a computer. It's what they do, dammit.

Would I buy it? Yeah, maybe. I love Air after all.

Hajime no Ippo: Victorious Boxers.

I stole this image from Chudahs Corner.

What I see: Well, there are boxers, but they don't look so victorious, do they? The main guy there is clearly hiding behind his fists in fear. And pretty much all of the images seem to be of either him battered and bruised, or of someone punching him in the face. Why not just call it "punching this guy and his stupid hair in the face"? I'd buy that for a dollar.

What I expect to hear: What did they play during Three Stooges movies? From the little screens, this seems to be a mix of comedy and violence, so clearly that type of thing is in order.

Would I buy it? Probably not.

G-Darius Forever

Chudahs Corner, I stole from there once. Good times

What I see: Red. Lots of red. And some text! You know who loves red? Communists! This isn't a game soundtrack at all, but communist propaganda!

What I expect to hear: What do communists listen to anyway? Whatever it is, that.

Would I buy it? Do I look like a communist to you?

(I thought the last one gave me nothing to work with...)